By Eric Beach
I wrote this Blog about 2 years ago. Several things have changed in my life since writing this, but when I rediscovered it, I wanted to share it because its a snap shot of where my healing journey began. I'm sharing it in case it resonates with a new audience. If this resonates with you, know there is hope, and you can grow into a life of joy and purpose. I'm dedicating my life to understanding how, and offering up what I find to you, our Echelon.
I said it wouldn't always be pretty... Today... Yesterday... They weren't pretty.
Part of this journey I'm taking you on, a huge part, is a healing journey. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It comes in many forms, from many different points of origin. In my case its from my time over seas in combat in Iraq 2003 and growing up with wounds and no sense of Self.
It rears its head at random sometimes. The last couple of days have seemed random. I've scratched my head trying to figure out why I've had intense depression and rage. We're on vacation and I've been so angry, at times to the point I don't feel safe. I don't feel I'll be able to keep my emotions in check. I've secretly been hoping to get into a fight so I could give this rage purpose.
I was at the mechanic and saw a guy staring at me for what seemed like 5 minutes. I wanted to scream at him "Can I help you?" "Is there a problem?" But I held back. PTSD can make you look for fights that aren't there. Everyone becomes the enemy to include my children and my wife. The baby cries, my 4 year old doesn't listen at times and my wife isn't perfect... How dare they be human... But, in these moments it's all I see. There humanity becomes a negative.
I've made great progress with my PTSD and so have many others, but we still have our days. They have become fewer in number, but it wasn't that long ago I had at least 3 days a week like this. Horrible way to live. Its one of the reasons the veteran suicide rate is so high. 22 a day. ABSOLUTELY HEART BREAKING. I won't be part of that number. I hope to eradicate that number.
So what to do in my state... It was getting late and there was about 30 minutes before sunset. I decided I needed to get out and run. Burn off this adrenaline that had been dumping into my system the past 2 days. I ended up running 3.84 miles at a 9 minute mile pace. Its a good pace for me at this point. In the last 1/2 mile I started to have a conversation with myself.
I was heading home and decided to keep a faster pace and not quit if it got tough. It got tough... Life always gets tough. Before it got tough I realized how bad a father, husband, son and friend I am when I get like this. My mantra became my wife deserves better, my daughter deserves better etc... I said it over and over. I asked myself is my body in charge or am I in charge? If my body says I'm tired, I can't do this, do I listen or do I tell it the race isn't over?
It hit me. I deserve better.
I realized in that moment, I deserve a better quality of life. It's not just for everybody else. Do I let the relationships in my life, as important as they may be, determine if I'm doing a good enough job, or do I get to weigh in and tell myself how I'm doing?
I deserve better because when I'm a better man I feel better and my family gets better from me as well. When I tell my body I know its tough, I know you're tired, I know you want to quit but we're not going to. I fight forward. I get stronger.
On this race of life, there are setbacks. Our days won't always be something we want to write about or share with others. Its not a success only journey (Thank God). I'm not always going to be the best family man, my event times won't always get faster but I'm not going to quit. On any of it. When set backs come I'll take a deep breath, really think about things and when I get that moment of clarity, I'll tell myself your're done quiting. If we don't quit, theres still a chance we'll get better.
Its not a success only life. We aren't perfect. We never will be. Obstacles will come... a lot. It will get difficult. We will fall short. There will be tears. There will be anger. We will feel like we suck. But if we don't give up and we work, the bad times become the exceptions.
I have been in therapy, I have a service dog and the teachings from the trauma resiliency program, writing, Video work, and now I have swimming, biking, running and a literal race to run. If we can find outlets, we can we can do battle with our "demons". We can learn a lot about ourselves in those moments when it gets hard, when we fight instead of giving up. Some call it the pain cave. Its a place we put ourselves on purpose in a healthy way (like exercise) where we must give it our all even when it gets hard.
Maybe your pain cave is getting out in public for a while because your afraid of crowds. Maybe its going to the fireworks wearing headphones and during the show, taking them off a listening to the booms. Maybe its picking up the phone and talking to that broken relationship you've been avoiding for years. Maybe it's telling your spouse you love them. Maybe it's planning a date. Maybe its playing with your kids. It takes effort. It takes love and dedication. But when the thing you try gets tough and you enter the pain cave will you quit? or will you address the reality of your situation and really think about it. Will you push forward?
I'm not perfect, but I'm pushing forward. It may take a day or two, or longer to get back on track but I'm always working to find the trail.
What trail do you need to get back on?
By Eric Beach
Have you ever started something new, or been doing something for a long time and still felt like you were achieving nothing? Have you ever felt as if you weren't good enough and never would be, so much so you feel anger. Anger followed by resentment and doubt? If so, hi my name is Eric, welcome to the club. This has been a pattern of mine and over the years, it's something I've been working on.
Why do I feel this way?
My response to an emotion may be severe or irrational, but I believe the emotion is trying to tell me, tell us something.
It's telling ME, comparison is the robber of joy. A good friend of mine shared that pearl with me and its become a life changing reality.
More often than not, we don't begin something and compare ourselves against the beginners. We measure ourselves against the best of the best. We want to know how do we stack up. I start making short films and immediately compare my work to that of the greatest hollywood directors in the history of cinema! When I do that, I don't stack up very well... I don't think I ever will and I lose the drive to try. The drive to get better, to grow.
I train for a triathlon and look up times from last years racers to see the averages. I find the average time for each event is far faster than I am currently capable of completing individually, let alone back to back to back! So, do I quit because I most likely won't place well in the race? Who's holding me to these unrealistic standards on which my success is determined?
Why do we, or at least I, compare myself to top level industry professionals and elite athletes who have been working, improving, and getting or honing their craft better for years?
Perfectionism mixed with impatience. I want to be the best... NOW.
I don't want to work for it. I want to be great without doing the work because doing the work is hard and involves failure. It involves adversity and I just want to fly.
I can't fly and its unreasonable to think I can. I can't run an IRONMAN Triathlon in 9 hours, so it's unreasonable to compare myself to someone who can. But, it is reasonable to aspire to that end. To learn from the established and work towards a goal... Over time.
It's not always reaching the goal thats important. Most often, its what we learn on the journey thats the real victory. Thats the real benefit of a goal.
To what end do you strive?
and Tom Voss, who were living with in darkness with the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Moral Injury casting a shadow on their true selves and preventing them from being the men they wanted to be for themselves and for their loved ones. These two veterans, who were diagnosed and treated for PTSD, were done waiting for their sun to rise, for their therapy and medications to "cure" them and they yearned for something more, they yearned for an inner peace that they had control over. Ultimately, Anthony and Tom embarked on a 150 day pilgrimage walk from Wisconsin to California in an effort to better understand themselves, their fears, their anger, their anxieties, and ultimately find peace with the world around them.
Project Echelon is almost one year old, founded April 1, 2017. Our journey, our story is our own version of "the walk." We started out with more questions than we had answers, and believe when I say there are still A LOT of questions, but those questions are starting to have more clarity and our path to the sunrise is becoming more distinct. As a civilian, non-veteran it can sometimes be hard to identify with the questions asked or the struggles shared, it can be difficult to find an entry point and provide "the right words." But in my journey, I have learned that my role is more about empathy, listening, and supporting than it is about providing, fixing, or curing. My role is to support the Echelon, help break the wind, and make the sunrise easier to see.
After having the opportunity to meet and speak with Anthony and Tom, it was clear our work with Project Echelon is good work and that we are on the right path. We are excited for the new opportunities and relationships that are presenting themselves as we expand our Echelon of support and share our story with more veterans, their families, and the community. We invite you to join us in our journey by following us on social media or connecting with us through our Contact Page.
We are walking the good walk, the sun is rising... and its beautiful!
Take-aways and insights from last night's event:
By Eric Beach
If you are reading this, and a human being like me, CONGRATULATIONS! You are valuable! You have value! If you can believe it, receive it, and live that truth, you my friend are on the path to living a full, but not easy life.
Personally its taken me many years to accept this to even understand its truth. But, to heal, we must at some point believe this truth.
Our value is not something anyone or anything can give us. Its something we can only give ourselves. Certainly others can help us see it, but its up to us to believe it. No relationship, no title, no accomplishment, no honor can give us value. Certainly we may become valuable to others, but if we don't believe we have value, all these other things and experiences will fade away in time. They are all temporary and fickle.
To invest, I mean really invest in your development... To have the strength to overcome set back after setback, disappointment after disappointment, and failure after failure, you must believe you are worth the continued effort, because the world will be quick to tell you, you are not.
When we don't believe we have intrinsic value, we settle. We believe the lie that we don't deserve better. We then believe we aren't worthy of love but are worthy of abuse. Or, we believe somebody owes us something...
If we don't value ourselves, we can begin to believe its someone else responsibility to save us, and when they don't, bitterness takes root in our hearts. In the event they are rescued, that joy only last for but a moment. All fixes are to the addict, temporary...
To accept yourself as valuable is to first accept where you are. I said accept, not stay. We exist on a continuum. We stay put, we regress, or we move forward. We, at any given time are doing one of these things. Constant forward progress can't be ascribed to equal success, growth, or value. At times we need to rest and at times we back pedal a bit. This is a reality we would do well to accept.
There is nothing about you or your situation that defines you as a person void of value. It's impossible. Nothing outside of yourself can define your value. But, if you believe you are enough, if you accept you have value, your perspective will begin to change.
You'll fight for things and people you value and in doing so, you will fight for yourself. You will make changes for things and people you value and in doing so, you will make changes that lead to your own Self improvement.
One of the greatest things we can do in this life is to find and break down the walls that keep us from valuing ourselves. We must destroy the signs in our mind that fill us with lies saying "You're not worthy because..."
When we do this, we become a positive force in this world. We pour out of ourselves waters from the stream of value running through our being and those closest to us can't help but notice and be touched by it.
Because I see my own value (not my pride) I am a better husband, father, and man. Because I know I have value, I will leave this world a better place even if nobody remembers my name.
By Eric Beach
Our Project Echelon mission statement contains the words Self discovery and physical activity. The AND is very important because to heal, we need both pieces working together in concert. One without the other may be helpful, but I've found, to truly heal, we need both.
I was reading "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman this morning. In the portion of the book I was reading, the author was explaining the power of hope and optimism. He explained how studies had shown resiliency requires those two things. In one such study, he explained how professional swimmers were first given a test which categorized the swimmer as a pessimist or optimist. After the test, they began swim practice. As they were swimming laps, the timer was instructed to lie and give the swimmers a false time, a time that was far slower than the swimmer would have liked to hear. Those who were categorized as pessimists swam even slower after they received the "false" bad news. On the other hand, the optimists actually swam faster than their first laps! The optimists saw the setback, met the resistance, and were able to push through where the pessimists couldn't.
Not everyone currently has both hope and optimism. I've been there. Its part of my own journey that I've been reflecting on, but struggling to track the transition from hopeless to hopeful, or from pessimist to optimist. I just know it accidentally happened! Which believe me, when you're trying to help others along the same journey you are on and you can't give them steps and explanations... It can be very frustrating! However, after todays reading, I think I understand how it happened for me a bit better.
I believe fully, that I had to read this book now. I believe I am drawn to specific books at specific times because in that moment, I'm ready to receive the wisdom on those specific pages. Any other time, I may have been in the wrong mental state and glossed over very important content.
Project Echelon, in many ways, is my journey from suicidal to servant leader, packaged in a "neat enough" package, given freely to those willing, and brave enough to open it. Admittedly as I mentioned earlier, sometimes I don't know how to explain parts of my growth. But the further I go, the more I realize there is no formula for this. We are walking parallel paths but aren't walking the same path.
My resiliency has increased and recently my focus has been... How? Goleman says optimism and hope. He also says through Self mastery, we can find hope, optimism, and resilience. People with those three ingredients do not feel an overwhelming sense of failure when rejection, defeat, or setbacks occur. Sounds great right?
So how does he say we can foster those qualities in ourselves. Mastery of something... Anything. To attempt to illustrate this, I'll use my own experience and how I unwittingly did this.
To master something we must commit to the thing or process regardless of the difficulty and setbacks. We must be all-in. We must be dedicated AND have patience.
For me, I was tired of quitting, of hurting, of half-commiting, so I committed to going somewhere. I committed to overcoming the physical demands of training for, and completing a sprint distance triathlon. To build resiliency, you must overcome something. Discomfort and resistance.
In training I had to first overcome pride. I had to fight the urge to quit because I used to be capable of running a 6 minute mile, but was now running a 12 minute mile.
Breathe. You have to start somewhere.
Next, I had to overcome the pain and discomfort of training, which mirrors the same pain as growth. I had to break the mental barriers of "I'm to tired to train" or " I have a little bit of a cold, so I'll start when I'm better." I overcame body image from gaining 35lbs (though I still struggle with body image). There were more mental blocks, but those are the big ones that come to mind.
On race day, I finished my race. I overcame, though I was still left not mentally healthy. But, through the process of training, I had gained enough awareness to start finding and cutting out the negative and unhealthy influences in my life. Not all, but some. When it became really dark, I even asked for help! If you know me, you may know how big a deal it is for me to ask for help! Programs like This Able Veteran and Save A Warrior gave me the tools I needed for further Self mastery, though at the time, I didn't know it.
The following year, I entered a half IRONMAN triathlon. No matter the race or training plan, throughout all of it, I was given the precious gift of insight. As I burned off energy and overcame obstacles, I gained more awareness and resiliency. I also began to understand that through training, I was far more open and able to take the journey inward to Self discovery.
I could ask myself hard questions. I could stop blaming others and take responsibility for my side of the fence. I could work on my own "moral failings." I could stop playing the victim...
Physical activity made Self discovery far more attainable. When we train and reach our physical goals, a level of Self mastery is attained. When we attain this, optimism starts to move in. We slowly begin to take failures with larger openness and less despair. We may be unaware of this process, but I promise you its there if you look.
The area you chose for Self mastery may start small, like making your bed every morning. It may be relational like intentionally and consistently spending quality time with your family. There are many ways we can grow the discipline required for Self mastery, but including a physical outlet exponentially increases this process.
For that reason, I believe in the power of physical activity AND Self discovery. For that very reason, I will be competing in this years IRONMAN Madison triathlon because I know the real growth occurs in the months of training that lead up to the payoff at the finish line.
Find ways to overcome and commit to physical activity. Open the doors to growth and relationship. Be open.
We are all learning as we go. Some of us just aren't listening to the soft whisper of life and some of us are ignoring the bricks life is throwing at our heads! Some of us can't feel the unconscious stirrings of the exiled voices deep within us. But, if we move our bodies and then sit with the exiled voices after, we can discover, one of the greatest teachers in the world lives in each and everyone of us.
By Eric Beach
I think it happens pretty quickly. You go from inactive to active and realize, oye, I've really let myself go! For me, it's the biggest hurdle that keeps me from "trying". When I discovered my mile time had risen from 6 minutes and 30 seconds to 10 minutes and 24 seconds, I was a wee bit discouraged. I told myself things like, "Whats the point? You'll never get back to the way you were so don't try. Just quit." It's a horrible, but common stream of logic.
I think in part, it's a problem with the definition of success, failure, and try. For me, I operate on a continuum of success and failure. I try and either succeed or fail, its all or nothing. When I fail, I usually quit. But can't success simply be defined as trying? For a long time I've viewed the word "try" as timid. It leaves room for the failure and is surprised by success. But in trying haven't you already succeeded on some level?
Trying is getting up and running even though you may finish the run in a walk. Trying is playing with your kids even though they look at you like you're crazy because, "Weird, daddy never plays with us." and though its awkward, you play, you stick with it and do it again tomorrow. Trying is succeeding in putting forth the effort to start. Without a start there can be no success or failure. So lets embrace the "try". Lets celebrate the failure as much as the success! Lets celebrate the failure because we tried and failure isn't permanent unless we never try again. Failure isn't permanent until it is, and that is our choice.
Lets look at failure a bit more now.
There was a sentence painted on the wall of my high school weight room. It read "try to fail". In its context, it referred to lifting weights and trying to reach muscle failure during a workout. Now, I see it as much more than that. What if we lived our lives trying to push ourselves out of our comfort zones and into the unknown. Into the unknown where failure lives. What if when failure comes, we learn from it and try again strengthened by the failure, wiser for it.
I'm not going to finish my race come race day if I don't fail now. I'm not going to fail now unless I try. If we don't try we stay ok. When we stay ok we don't get stronger... We stay ok...
So lets "try to fail" so we can get stronger, so we can be better, so we can thrive.
By Eric Beach
Racism, is not new. Prejudice, is not new. Slavery, is not new. Genocide, is not new. Hate, is not new. I wish it was, because if it were, it would be an easier problem to solve.
Religions are not exempt from this truth, Nor is any nation. In our short history, in our own nation, we've hated the Chinese, Irish, and Africans to name a few. As "humans" there seems to always be a group that will find a diluted reason to hate a group for its "difference".
To effect change we create movements. Movements aren't bad, but are temporary fixes. Band aid solutions. Policy doesn't remove hate. It may silence the violence... For a time. But it will always lurk behind the shadows of noble cause, waiting until it's voice is strong enough, to once again spit it's venom.
We went to war, defeated the Nazis, yet people still hate Jews.
I went to war, fought against the terrorists and learned about hate. I even felt it, and it scared me. I learned one universal truth in war. I fought an enemy who taught his child I was evil. This child grew up believing his father, as any child would. Now, if I kill his father, I've not won a war, I've solidified in the boys mind, his father was justified in his lessons of hate. The war doesn't end. It is simply kicked down the road.
People across the entire spectrum of humanity are being murdered by terror groups. Children and women are thrown into sex trafficking. People abuse their "serfs" in pursuit of profit. Innocent black lives have been murdered. Innocent police lives have been murdered.
We paint in broad brush strokes, "the state traded in the hoods of the KKK for police uniforms." "Blacks shouldn't complain, they have it so much better than they used too."
These fallacies become dogmas, and breeding grounds for perpetuation of hate.
We choose a cause in order to solidify why we are justified in our feelings. But why do we feel this way? Because, from our warped perspective, we view others as different and it scares us. Like a baby, not hungry, suckles at their mothers breast. So do we suckle at the breast of security found in the teachings, whatever they may been, from our mothers and fathers.
A very simple, basic illustration.
"I'm a republican."
"Because my mom and dad were."
"What's a republican?"
"Not really sure, but that's what I am."
The root cause of fear is death. We will do irrational things when we fear death. We wish to survive and kill that which "threatens" us even if the threat is merely perceived and not real. So what's the solution?
Unity. Brotherhood. Sisterhood. Growing into maturity. Acknowledging and integrating the wounds of our past. The realization we aren't different. We are the same species.
Warning, living as a medication treating the root cause of any pain, may be the hardest thing you ever do. It may take longer than your lifetime. But it's the only way to a unified human existence. We need bridge builders, not more division.
By Eric Beach
I held my child this morning. The embrace was life giving. But, the time came to put her down and she wept. It hurt my soul so I picked her up and embraced her tighter than before. She did the same. In that moment I didn't want to ever let her go... Then I realized something.
Many men, and women grew up with their childhood robbed from them. It was smashed by an abusive father, hidden by and absent father, or distorted and wrapped in bubble wrap by an overindulgent father.
We were prevented from growing into a maturity or even understanding what maturity was! Instead we grew up still clutching our inner child. The lost and hurting one. The exiled one. The child that if we set down, will cry until we pick it back up.
Security and comfort are found only if we embrace that wounded child. Maybe that doesn't sound bad, but how much can we accomplish when holding that inner child. We have no free hand and in an effort to find one we have two choices...
1. We can set the child down and complete the task half present and half focused and pulled down by the squalling child. We become short tempered and frustrated when the task doesn't go as planned. We want it done fast so we can silence the screaming child.
2. We can adjust, put the child on our hip, or some other odd mechanical arrangement and fumble through whatever it is we wish to do. Things get dropped, we appear incompetent and weak. We feel shamed, so this option makes us want to stop trying anything that doesn't nourish that inner child. We form our life around our inner "high chair tyrant" and his/her demands.
So how do we overcome this? That's part of the journey we are all on. For me, I'm taking moments to let the baby cry. I'm not allowing the inner child to to win. I'm letting him see I'm no longer at his beck and call. I'm also putting myself in relationships with men better than myself who can help me mature that child.
We should never get rid of the child inside us. If we do, we also get rid of creativity, spontaneity, and exuberant joy. We become callous, cruel, cold, and driven only by results and completion of task.
What we need to do, is learn how to set boundaries for that inner child. We need to help him grow and acknowledge he/she is part of us. We need to acknowledge and seek to understand what's going on when rage/tantrums surge. We need to see that our inner child is on the ground throwing a fit in the middle of the grocery store and transcend above and ask ourselves, why.
Then, we need to take a breathe, tell the child we'll be done in a minute, and only after we hold the space and finish the task will we return to the grab the child. It's not easy to do, but I'm trying.
By Eric Beach
Since running my last triathlon, my calf muscle has been giving issues. At times I can’t seem to run more than a mile before a sharp pain reduces me to a walk, or light jog. I’ve tried to rest and ice it, slow down my pace, and even not run. Nothing has made a lasting impact. At mile one, the pain returns. At the 1-mile mark, my leg seemingly becomes unhealthy.
Yesterday, I needed to run. I needed a physical outlet. I’ve been reading about proper running form and had some new things I needed to try. It was 23 degrees yesterday morning when the time came to run. The first mile burned my lungs with cold, but I felt alive! But, after that first mile, the sharp pain jolted through my leg. I stopped and walked. I was frustrated but calm.
I asked myself, “What is going on!?!” Unsatisfied with walking I started to run again. I shortened my stride, doubled my cadence, and looked at the road, 20 feet ahead of me. With these things and only slightly bending my knee as I ran, I was able to finish the second mile. Setting out that morning, all I wanted to do was finish a 2 mile run.
I felt good about it. I didn’t finish without pain, but I finished. My pace was slower than I would have liked. In the past, I hated any regression, but now I see it differently. Here’s what I learned yesterday morning.
I tend to live in the future, but stare at the ground in front of me. My thought process is a little like this. “I want to finish an ironman and help others compete in the sport I’ve come to love. But, my knee is preventing me from running more than a mile. My dream then, is impossible. I am hopeless.”
I disqualify myself rather than step back and reevaluate my circumstance. Maybe I should run slower for a while instead of just quitting. I had been running a 5K in the 23-minute range. Maybe I need to run it in the 27-minute range until I’m stronger and understand the origins of my pain. That’s ok! Setbacks aren’t closed doors. Setbacks are more like hurdles, and hurdles were designed to be overcome.
Whatever dream I have, and there are several, will undoubtedly come with setbacks and hurdles. The question isn’t if or when, it’s what are you willing to overcome in pursuit of your dream.
Don’t stare at the ground on the way to your dream. You won’t see the hurdle coming and you will fall hard. I promise.
Don’t mistake the temporary for the permanent. Slowing down for a time doesn’t equal failure if it helps you ultimately get you to your dream.
Overcoming the obstacle, that thing you feel if attempted would overwhelm and kill you, requires success and failure, sprints and walks, and hurdles… A lot of hurdles.
Nobody wins a race because they were comfortable. They win because they committed to what was required to overcome the hurdles. They new the cost’s, weighed them and decided their heart was willing to pay the price. They showed up to the race wounded, bearing their scars and appeared comfortable because the physical race is the easy part.
By Eric Beach
There was a point in time when I was in great shape. I was a soldier so out of necessity, my body was conditioned as such. So what happened? How did I get here? A 31 year old couch sitter. It's simple. I stopped trying.
You see I left the military and entered a world of self-medication. I drank too much in an effort to numb my feelings and used cocaine to feel something. I ate out, never cooked in and when I was motivated to eat healthy (after an all night bender) I'd walk to Subway. Nothing says healthy like cheese, pepperoni, salami, ham and a bag of chips!
Fast forward about 5 years and two hospital stays after two suicide attempts, and I was finally clean, mostly sober and 35 lbs heavier (about 195 lbs). The only exercise I was getting was running to the oven to save the pizza I was burning and climbing the stairs to my bedroom. I wasn't winning at life, but I was getting better.
Over the next 6 years my weight and energy level would fluctuate. I would get married, have two beautiful baby girls and receive a service dog for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) through This Able Veteran So what now? Why am I writing this? Why share this brief summary of my post military life? It's because I'm ok.
I'm ok and the world convinced me ok was..... well... ok! I've come to realize I'm an ok husband, an ok father, and my health is ok. I've come to realize ok doesn't take work. Ok is existing. A farmers field with an ok yield produces just enough to get by. Ok is simply surviving. But surviving isn't living.
"Ok" marriages end. I don't want my marriage to end... ever. "Ok" health lacks energy and I want to run and play with my kids and when I do it I don't want to feel like my knees will explode or I'm going to somehow hurt myself!
This is my line in the sand. This is my declaration. This is me stepping into the arena, onto the battlefield and beginning to fight. I'm fighting for my family, for my health and for a future thats more than "ok". Will you join me on this adventure?
I've chosen to train in triathlon and in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. The physical demands make me feel like a soldier again, but thats another blog topic! We must find a way to move our body so we can then move our soul. Physical activity and Self-discovery are synergies. They are both necessary for a human being to heal and to become the person they were always meant to be. This Project is centered around that truth. We are helping those who care to listen, start their journey's to authentic Self and authentic living. We would love for you to join us!